– – – Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
For years it wasn’t a word in my vocabulary. Not that I was unhappy all the time but “joy” – a feeling of great happiness – mmm not so much. There was always some sort of brokenness pulling me back from that lofty height. I suppose I thought of joy in terms of elation and exuberance and extravagant outpourings of excitement and happiness – – – and even on my best day’s that’s not something I could manage. Joy was far too upbeat and out there for a less is more, semi introvert kind of girl like me.
But things go and change don’t they, God does his work, puts together our broken, breathes in His life. And so we’ve come to a new understanding. Joy and I have fallen in along side each other like old friends. Not so incompatible after all. In fact we get along just fine.
My dictionary might define “joy” as a feeling of great happiness but I think I’ll add to that a feeling of great contentment, of knowing and thankfulness and peace. It doesn’t turn up big and loud and showy. It show’s up quietly and hangs out and makes it’s home with us.
It shows up in feeling safe on the inside, in knowing deep down, when the layers are peeled back and all is revealed that everything is OK, because He’s made it once and for all OK.
“ – – – We’re safe now. The worst has already happened and it happened to Jesus and nothing else can wreck us”. Edie Wadsworth ~ Life in Grace.
It shows up in thankfulness and appreciating the gift that this life is, in appreciating the enormity of all we’ve been given.
Seeing those perfect little babies in my arms – my life long joy – not because it was what I had always dreamed of but because I’d hardly dared to let myself dream of something so wonderful, and here they were anyway. A gift. The joy of them exquisite but with it the worry and tears and the wanting them to be OK and do well. My heart done in and gone in one fell swoop the moment they arrived. The pain mixed right in with the joy. With our hearts laid bare we throw ourselves on God’s mercy and hold on for dear life.
Some times we simply choose joy over despair. We fan it into flame and throw it like a weapon at the cold and dark, a beacon of our faith and trust, to let the dark and cold know it won’t win, that it won’t overcome us.
And then those moments – the jump up and down, best news ever, so happy you cry type moments – I’ve had a few of those this year – a friends all clear from cancer, another friends dream job offer, us getting our new home loan. All of them all the more poignant because of the journey to get there, the hard work done, the sticking in and holding fast, the tears and the sorrow endured before arriving at that sweet place. Those moments are like gold, worth celebrating – the joy of good news.
May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope! Romans 15:13 The Message
Much love to you all today
Tracey xx
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